


maybe the world could be ours

by ballumschmallum



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Light Smut, M/M, PTSD mentions, Slow Burn, alternative universe, ballum - Freeform, ben and callum - Freeform, callum is in love with his best friend but ben is too blind to see it, hidden and buried feelings, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26759815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballumschmallum/pseuds/ballumschmallum
Summary: Ben is the one that makes Callum’s heart race and explode out of his chest, yearning that eventually Callum will have that same effect on Ben. But he highly doubts it, as Ben only sees Callum as his bestest friend and would not look at him twice.Or - Callum is in love with his best friend Ben and has watched hopelessly as Ben goes out on random hookups or pulls some bloke on nights out, being too stupid to realise that his Mr Right may have been standing right next to him. It's only when Callum decides that it is time to move on that Ben comes to the sudden realisation that he has had romantic feelings for Callum all along. Is it too late to change the world to be theirs?
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway /Original Male Character, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Chris Kennedy (mentions), Jay Brown & Callum "Halfway" Highway & Ben Mitchell & Lola Pearce, Jay Brown/Lola Pearce, Lee Carter/Whitney Dean, Paul Coker/Ben Mitchell, Rainie Branning Cross/Stuart Highway
Comments: 13
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Ballum AU which I have been pretty excited to share with you. I'm sorry if this first chapter isn't up to much, but I promise that it does pick up and get a bit more juicer (I hope!). This is also the first multi-chaptered fic that I have written in years so I will try not to keep you guys waiting between chapters for too long as I do have most of the story panned out in my head already.
> 
> The title is inspired by the song 'Rewrite the Stars' by Zac Efron and Zendaya.
> 
> I hope you enjoy. Feel free to leave kudos and comments, would love to know what you think xx

Vibrations rippled through the Prince Albert and whether you were standing up and dancing to the loud pop music, that was blasting through the large speakers that were dotted around the bar, or whether you were lucky enough to be sitting down, the beat that was thumping and sending signals to your head and intruding your body was inescapable. Just like it was inescapable that Callum Highway was sitting in a booth, his hand clenched tightly around a beer bottle that it could almost break in his grip whilst having to watch his best friend Ben Mitchell getting cosy with another bloke yet _again_. 

Callum stole another long sip of the beer and swallowed thickly. He tried to tear his eyes away from the sight. This was just another one of Ben’s one-night stands, another one in a fairly long row of blokes, _especially_ if you counted his online hook ups. But it did not stop the sharp and painful chills that travelled down his spine and his stomach feeling like it was about to drop down from the Empire State Building. He has seen this _so many times._ He knows what is going to happen. He can read it like a book. Ben will go home with him, sleep with him, maybe meet up with him a couple of times after that for hook-ups and then he will write them off, just like some of the cars that he gets paid to try and fix over at the Arches and in the end, is to be a lost cause.

The monster inside his stomach hissed angrily as he watched Ben, sitting at the bar, wearing his classic navy blue polo shirt with skinny jeans and black lace up boots, grinning over the rim of his whiskey glass, at the man sitting before him. The man had black curly hair that was held back by a subtle headband. He was wearing an open red checked short sleeved shirt with a black vest underneath. Callum noted that this is not the sort of men that Ben tends to go for. This bloke just was not Ben’s _usual_ type. He should know, considering that Callum is Ben’s best friend. And as Ben’s best friend, Callum thought that surely, he should not be feeling this way about him? He should not be raging with jealously and ready to pounce on any man that claps eyes on _his_ best friend, he should be happy for him. But also as Ben’s best friend, he needs to be there for him, stand by his side and be his shoulder to cry on, in hope that _maybe_ one day Ben will see Callum under a new light and how Callum has seen him for so long.

Ben is the one that makes Callum’s heart race and explode out of his chest, yearning that eventually Callum will have that same effect on Ben. But he highly doubts it, as Ben only sees Callum as his bestest friend and would not look at him twice. 

“You’re going to break that bottle in half in a minute,” Jay said lightly, luring Callum away from his trance.

With another cold stare in Ben and this _new_ mystery man’s direction and trying to prevent his eyes from glossing over, Callum turned to face Jay with a bright smile that did not quite reach his eyes like it normally would Jay had noted.

Callum breathed out a small chuckle, “Sorry I was in my own world there.”

Jay smiled gently and rested his hand on Callum’s shoulder, “Are you okay? I know that sometimes places like this can get to you. If you want to go and get some air, we can.”

Callum smiled again, trying to keep up a front as best as he could. But there was no fooling Jay as him and his girlfriend Lola knew how Callum felt about Ben and they both thought that Ben was an _utter idiot_ for not noticing. Callum also knew that Jay was also referring to the anxiety attacks that Callum has to face now and again whenever he is placed in certain situations. The type of situations where he would come out in sweats, where he feels the air getting sucked away fiercely from his lungs and sometimes he could feel the ribs of his chest play tug of war with each other, pulling so tightly that he’s breathing so heavily, like he is _starving for oxygen_.

Ben and Callum had known each other since Callum moved to the Square, which was two years ago, but it felt like they had known each other _forever_. When Callum first moved to the Square, it was _not_ alone. This was _not_ how it was supposed to be as Callum moved to the Square with his boyfriend Chris, deciding to leave the life where they fell in love in the army kitchens behind and start a new life together somewhere else, where _no one_ would know them. And that place happened to be Walford and they owned a nice little flat on Bridge Street. Ben, Jay and Lola had also known Chris and he _adored_ Ben and Lola’s little daughter Lexi. Until a few months after they moved to Walford, Chris missed the life of the army and with Callum’s encouragement and not wanting to hold him back, he _insisted_ that Chris returned and promised that he would be waiting for him.

And he did.

Until that _horrible_ day where you could hear nothing but rain slamming down on the rooftops and raindrops crying uncontrollably down the windowpane that Callum received a knock at the door. Callum remembers it so vividly. Callum opened the door to find Chris’ sister Vicky standing on the doorstep, wrapped in a black mac and she had bags under her eyes, like she had not slept all night. Her eyes were red and puffy, and it looked like she was holding back tears as she took a massive gulp.

_“Oh Callum, I’m so sorry. It’s Chris.”_

Vicky’s choked and heart wrenching words echoed into Callum’s head like he was standing in an open spaced rainforest where you can hear all the noises of the extraordinary animals that lived there.

Chris was tragically killed at war, there had been an attack.

Callum was wrapped up in his own invisible coma for days. No one could get through to him. He just stared into space, his knees brought up to his chest as he sat on the sofa rocking backwards and forth. He would not talk to anyone, would show no emotion, just stared at _nothingness_. No one could drag him out of this new shell that he had hibernated into. 

Then Ben came around one evening, using the spare key that was hidden under the plant pot and let himself in. He found Callum sniffing deeply into one of Chris’ hoodies, like he was trying to inhale every bit of him and etch it into his memory forever, so he would always remember what he smelt like. Ben approached Callum gently and that was it. Callum broke down and collapsed in Ben’s arms as he held him tightly, cradling and rocking him gently against his chest, like he was some small vulnerable child. Callum could not stop the hysterical wailing as he could feel every remnant of his heart shatter piece by piece. And with every scream of heartache and devastation, Ben’s heart broke that little bit more. Ben’s eyes started to water as he rested his head on top of Callum’s and offered words of comfort, he _hated_ seeing his best friend this way.

Callum kept blaming himself _over and over_ for Chris’ death, saying how it was all his fault and he should have **_never_** have encouraged him to go back to the army, because if he put up a bit more of a fight, then Chris would still be with him. No matter how many times, Ben tried to reassure him that this was not his fault and he should not be punishing himself, his love was still gone, and he was never going to come back. He was never going to see his radiant broad smile again. Only in photographs.

If it were not for Ben, _god knows_ where Callum would have been now. Ben dragged him out of that coma and brought back the sunshine that lived in him once again.

Until it was Walford’s annual bonfire night that quickly came around that year on a crisp November’s evening. Everything seemed a blur as colourful explosions emerged in the sky sending Callum’s head in a daze and he found himself struggling to breath as he clung onto his chest desperately, needing air. He felt suffocated as he stood in what felt like a tin of sardines. He could hear people’s cries of wonder and amazement, but in Callum’s head, those cries were screams of pain and cries for _help_.

He could just about hear Ben say to Jay and Lola, “Keep an eye on Lex” before dragging him away from the crowd. Ben held his hand and helped Callum through it. It was not until a few weeks later that he had an assessment and was diagnosed with PTSD. And Ben was there, always looking out for him and being his ultimate fighter. Even though it was painful to do but it did help with managing his PTSD, he decided to pack his and Chris’ life up in boxes and moved to another place in Walford. He hated to admit it, but it was a better flat than the one he shared with Chris. He could only _dream_ that Chris was here to share this with him. 

Callum never thought that he would get to a stage where he could move on with his life without Chris, but he did. He would never be forgotten, and he would _always_ have a special place in Callum’s heart, but Callum had managed to find a life of his own. He learned to love again and that happened to be Ben. Him and Ben had become closer ever since they first met and Ben has helped Callum through _so much,_ that in the end those genuine friendly feelings that he felt for him had grown into something more. _Something real and so beautiful._

Come to think about it, even when Chris was alive, for some strange reason, he always had this connection to Ben, like something about him made him curious and was drawn to him.

Callum smiled at Jay, he was so lucky to have someone else that he would class as a _good friend_ in his life, “No it’s fine,” he said, painting on as much honestly as possible. “Besides, I don’t want to really leave Ben on his own.” There he goes again; his mind _instantly_ goes back to **_Ben_**.

Callum follows Jay’s eye line as he steals a quick glance in Ben’s direction. Ben has seemingly got irritably closer to this man as his hand is comfortably relaxing _pretty high_ up his thigh, his thumb lightly stroking the inner part of it. Ben’s face was so close to this bloke’s that the bloke could probably play dot-to-dot with the few freckles he has, just like Callum has done before sometimes whenever Ben crashes on his sofa. Callum could feel his breath hitch in his throat as he watched the bloke lean in further and brush his lips against Ben’s. He watches Ben grin into the kiss and move his hand into the bloke’s curly black hair. Callum has wondered on numerous occasions how Ben’s soft and plump tinted pink lips would feel against his own and how it would feel to have Ben’s hands laced through his hair or how his own large hands would feel planted on either side of Ben’s face like they were _meant_ to be there.

Callum refused to think like that. He physically could not as it was too painful. Especially as he is **_not_** the lucky one that Ben is kissing. To disguise the lump in his throat, Callum quickly grabbed his beer bottle and took a large gulp.

“Well, it looks like Ben can take care of himself,” Jay commented, looking over at Callum and watching with a hint of sadness as Callum swallows his beer and wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve. He knew how Callum must feel, it was written all over his face.

“Looks like it,” Callum breathes. “Shall we let Ben know that we’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I need to go for a quick Jimmy Riddle and then I’ll let him know on my way back,” Jay told him, patting his shoulder.

When Jay walked in the direction of the men’s toilets, Ben got pulled into Callum’s eyesight _again_. His subconscious growled in frustration but a part of him did want to know that Ben was safe and okay because he would always look out for Ben. _Always._

Refusing to look anymore at Ben and this mysterious bloke who happened to invade his privacy as they both exchanged giggles and soft words with their lips still so close together, Callum shuffled to get his phone out of his jeans pocket. His eyebrows knitted closely together, and a small pout was drawn on his lips, as his phone lit up to be greeted to a text notification from his brother, Stuart. Stuart and his wife Rainie moved to the Square six month ago and ran the funeral directors, living in the flat above the parlour. After the tragedy of Chris, it was nice to have someone from his family in his corner and close by. Callum bit down gently on his bottom lip, as he opened the text message.

**_Stuart:_ ** _Sorry bro, I hope you don’t mind but I have let myself into your flat with the spare key you gave me. Rainie has kicked me out so will have to crash at yours tonight. Hope that’s okay. Pregnancy hormones!!_

Callum shook his head lightly at his phone, but he could not help but smile slightly at his brother and sister in law’s antics. In about 4 months’ times, there was going to be a little mini Highway running about (well _not literally_ as it would be newborn) and Callum simply could not wait. He had to stop himself from welling up when Stuart broke the news to him a couple of months ago. It was something to look forward to, some light in his life – his baby niece _or_ nephew.

At least Stuart staying over for at least tonight will help take his mind off Ben, so he is not mulling over him as soon as he walks through the front door. Hopefully, his mind can rest until later on at least when he is in bed, because no doubt as soon as his head hits the pillow, his mind will start to fill of dreamy thoughts about _Ben bloody Mitchell_.

“You ready to go then?”

Callum looked up to find Jay standing over him and putting his jacket on. Callum sent a quick response to Stuart and confirmed to Jay that he was ready to leave, before he stood up and put his jacket on. Once the jacket shuffled over his shoulders and fit comfortably around his top half, Callum looked over at Ben to find he was looking _right at him_. Ben flashed Callum one of his most dazzling and charming smiles that sends him weak at the knees _every time_ and was waving at him, before cheekily blowing a kiss in his direction.

Callum’s mind went into overdrive. _What just happened?_ His heart was thumping so hard that it felt like it would come flying out of his chest and straight into Ben’s hands from across the bar. He felt his cheeks start to go slightly hot and his palms slightly sweaty.

He smiles wide with his dimples poking in his cheeks like the dork he can be and gave Ben a quick friendly wave, already feeling flustered from one simple action. With that, Callum ushered for Jay’s attention and before he knew it, they were exiting the bar and walking home, the image of Ben blowing an air kiss in his direction constantly hitting the replay button in his head.

“ _There he is!_ ” Stuart’s bubbly voice echoed throughout the flat as Callum entered and put his keys down in the bowl that was sitting on the kitchen worktop. Stuart had shifted his body in the armchair that he was sitting in and was smiling widely at him. “Good night out?”

“Yeah, wasn’t bad,” Callum answered scratching the back of his neck and deliberately leaving out the part about Ben and how he had to watch _some stranger_ all over him. “Pretty quiet actually.” 

“Yeah?” Stuart raised his eyebrow. “Maybe you need to go up the West End or something, see what other _gay bars_ are up there, eh? You’re bound to get a completely different batch.”

Callum’s face scrunched up at Stuart’s comment and how he can put some things, can really put you off at times and can be quite offensive but he knows that his brother is harmless. Unlike their father where the only good he ever had was being a sperm donor.

“We could go on a brothers night out next weekend if you want?” Stuart suggested with a spring of enthusiasm in his voice.

“No, I’m alright thanks,” Callum politely declined, smiling awkwardly. Besides, if he ventured further out into other places, the further he would be away from Ben and that is something he did _not_ want to do. “Anyway, I don’t think the Mrs would approve of you going out clubbing, would she?” Callum quickly changed the subject, with a slight playfulness lingering in his voice. “Why did she kick you out anyway?” He enquired, his hands resting on the work top.

Stuart rolled his eyes dramatically, “Don’t get me started, please! You will be sat here all night, _trust me_.”

“Well I don’t have to be in work until the afternoon I have time,” said Callum cheekily. Since learning how to cope with his PTSD, Callum decided he really wanted to help people so had decided to become a support worker and he was really enjoying it and all the challenges that came with it.

“I put beers in the fridge, help yourself and sit down,” Stuart said begrudgingly, swinging his body so his back was now resting completely on the armchair.

Callum smirked in triumph, before he spun around and got a beer out of the fridge, already feeling the rush of the alcohol that he had consumed at the Albert getting to his head already. Maybe it would not be a bad thing if he washed out the memory of Ben for the rest of the evening.

But _maybe_ he could just cling onto the memory of Ben and his _gorgeous_ lips that puckered up for _him_ from across the bar. Playful or not, Callum could almost guarantee that air kiss will be held securely in his warm fuzzy heart for the foreseeable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night after the Albert and with Ben in high spirits, he decides to go for 'hair of the dog' by having a mini get together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback on the first chapter, it means a lot. There is a bit more background in this chapter too but I promise after this chapter, there will be a bit more drama!
> 
> TW: brief mentions of miscarriage, domestic abuse

The dark blue sheet got pulled away to unveil a new day, revealing a different scene playing out compared to the night before, under the white fluffy clouds in the sky with colours of baby blue peering out in between. It was a cold autumn’s morning. It was the usual morning rush with music blaring out throughout the market with people bustling through with cups of hot drinks from Kathy’s café held securely in their hands, as they head out to the day job. People were going in and out of the Minute Mart. The market traders had been set up since the crack of dawn and they were talking to passers-by or catching up with their friends and family who happened to be walking past or came over to see them.

_“Hey, watch it will ya!”_ Someone called out infuriatedly and scowled at Ben Mitchell as he accidently knocked into their shoulder. 

“Sorry love,” he responded simply, with an innocent smile etching on his lips which he thinks is enough to make anyone turn a blind eye, but not everyone unfortunately.

The woman, who was already wrapped up in her winter coat, just scowled at Ben and walked away hurriedly, pulling her bag up over her shoulder even further and holding it there firmly. 

Ben watched the woman storm through the market with a smirk on his face and shaking his head before continuing to stride through the market and pushing through all the commotion. Ben was sporting last night’s attire which consisted of his polo top and jeans with his brown leather jacket flung over the top. He wiped his bottom lip slowly with his thumb, and grinned as he still felt the tingle lingering on there through all of the sucking, the nibbling, and the kissing from his recent lover. He reminisced how their lips just fitted together splendidly and suddenly he found himself feeling very warm in this misty weather. He stood outside Kathy’s café which was owned by his mum _Kathy_ and watched as the busy rush of people came flowing in and out like Piccadilly Circus.

Ben breathed out, wisps of cold air coming out like swirls of smoke. He pushed the door open where he was greeted to loud commotions as soon as he stepped in, with chairs screeching against the floor and the chatter amongst tables sounding all mashed up together as they passed through his eardrums. Surprisingly, the queue was pretty short compared to how packed the place was.

“Alright love,” Kathy greeted with a smile for her youngest son as he came face to face with her at the till. “What can I get ya?”

“Just a bacon sarnie please mum,” Ben ordered nicely, smiling sweetly.

Kathy nodded in acknowledgement. “Callum’s over there!” She pointed out, “I’ll bring it over in a takeaway bag because you probably want a shower before you start work at the car lot.” She looked at him knowingly, noticing that Ben was not dressed in his normal work attire.

Ben rolled his eyes and turned round to find Callum sitting on his own on the back table, dipping a piece of toast in his egg yolk. Ben smiled softly before striding over and stealing the sausage off Callum’s plate and sat down opposite him whilst taking a massive bite.

“Morning sunshine,” he said in a sing-song tone.

Callum rolled his eyes fondly, “Didn’t fancy getting your own breakfast?” He joked.

“Mum’s making me a bacon sarnie,” Ben reported boastfully, over a mouthful. The lights that illuminated the café’s morning glow, reflected on Ben’s face. Callum noticed how his beautiful blue orbs seemed a lot brighter and shone, like the ocean. “But I have worked up a bit of an appetite this morning. _Because I pulled._ ” 

“Yes, I noticed,” Callum notified him, a thin smile plastered on his lips as he felt the pang of hurt and jealousy starting to stab through his heart; he started to feel hot and tingly at the back of his neck suddenly. “Who was he _this time_?” Callum let out a breath, pretending to be interested as he took a sip of his coffee.

“His name was Paul, quite a nice lad,” Ben started to explain as he took another bite of the sausage. “Went back to the B&B he’s staying at for a few days. He doesn’t come from around here, lives in Worthing.”

Callum noticed how Ben’s eyes looked somewhat _dreamy_ and full of fascination at this newfound interest of his. He has never seen this expression on Ben before and it terrified him a bit. The cheeky grin that he always carried around following a hook-up was replaced with a fond smile, something that was out of the ordinary when it came to blokes. You would normally only see this expression when he was around Lexi and she was performing one of her dances in front of him. But not over a bloke, **_never_** over a bloke. Ever since Ben went through an abusive relationship with an older ex-boyfriend called Luke over a year ago which he escaped from, the gates to his heart went up and the key was thrown away.

Callum tried to shake that feeling away. It was probably nothing and he is overlooking things that he is quite common for. What probably fascinates Ben is that he hooked up with a boy _who is not from around these parts._ It will not come to anything because like Ben had said, this guy will be going back to Worthing in a few days.

“Well you have given him something to remember him by,” Callum commented. “ _For when he goes back home._ ”

Ben let out a short laugh and scratched the back of his neck as he shifted in his seat, the sausage long demolished. When Ben tilted his head slightly, Callum noticed the cochlear implant that rested above his right ear, his mind taking him back in time to one of the darkest places in Ben’s life.

Last year had been a pretty _rubbish_ year for Ben to say the least. Firstly, he was in an abusive relationship which he escaped from. Ben was slightly broken after that experience; he found himself very weary of his surroundings, constantly looking over his shoulder encase the monster who he allowed to claw at his heart was lurking behind him and ready to jump out at any given moment he got. It got to the point at times where he would refuse to go out in public on his own. Callum or anyone who knew Ben had never seen him look so _vulnerable_. And he was. It was like that confident bubble that he had wrapped himself up in had suddenly burst, leaving Ben floating and eventually he started to sink deeper with his constant fears and battles pulling him down underwater.

But after a few weeks he had got better, with the help of his good friends and his family. A couple of counselling sessions that was funded by his father helped, and was also considered his best friend happened to be a support worker which was a bonus in Ben’s eyes and he couldn’t have been more grateful. Ben could freely talk about the monsters inside his head with Callum and knew that he would not get judged or laughed at. Ben could just talk, and Callum would listen and give any words of comfort or reassurance wherever he could. Following from that support and having _several_ hands to hold, Ben secretly thinking that Callum’s hand was the warmest and the most comfort, Ben rose to the surface of the water and for the first time in a while, Ben felt like he could breathe again – that he was finally free.

Following shortly after, their local pub, the Queen Vic won the best pub in East London and as the golden prize, they won a boat party. Ben, Callum, Jay, Lola and their other two friends Whitney and Lee were so excited; Lee especially since it was his family’s pub that won. Ben felt great that he could start looking forward to things again and it was such a relief to him that he felt himself again, which was something not too long ago that he felt he would never get back. But he did, _he won_.

Until the boat party took a sudden disastrous turn for the worst and the boat had crashed into another boat. Due to the hard brutal hit that the boat took, for a split second when the boat tilted and everyone who was standing on the outside deck clung onto the railings for dear life, their knuckles going white due to the tight hold they had, Ben was unlucky enough to slip and fall overboard, banging his head violently against the side of the boat. Ben could feel himself scream agonisingly and there was a constant fuzzy ringing that was buzzing through his ear drums.

When Ben turned towards the boat after getting the strength, he could see Callum and Jay holding their arms down the boat in an attempt to pull him back up again. Ben could see their lips moving widely, like they were calling his name, but their speech seemed crackly and broken. When he got pulled back onto the boat, a lot of people came over to him, asking if he was okay. Everyone’s voices just seemed fizzled out and it stayed that way throughout the rest of the evening when they got escorted onto the lifeboats and back on the coach to Walford. Ben figured it was due to the sudden pressure of when his head crashed into the side of the boat. _It would be back by the morning after a reasonably good night’s sleep,_ Ben kept telling himself.

But it didn’t. Everyone was moving around him the next day and he just could not make out what they were saying. His family were directly looking at him and talking to him, but their words just sounded so jumbled that Ben was starting to get so frustrated and angry. He even tried washing his hearing aid again like he did the night before when he went to bed but still _nothing_. He was even struggling to hear out of his good ear.

When Callum came round to check on Ben, he could sense that something was off right from the start. Ben just seemed so distant and it was like he was shutting himself off. He looked _scared_ , and Ben Mitchell hardly ever gets scared. Callum would not really expect something like this to hold Ben back.

It was Callum that Ben tearfully confided in. He didn’t even tell Jay who he saw as a brother and that was saying something. Callum was the one that drove Ben to the hospital and held his hand when the doctor carried out a hearing test and to then diagnose him as being mainly _deaf_. When Ben was told that the only cure was to have a cochlear implant fitted and it would not be until up to six weeks until he can have an operation, to then be told that the operation will have its risks and it may not work, Ben stormed out of the consultant’s room. Callum followed him out into the hospital carpark and held him as Ben shed out angry tears; the tears just kept streaming down his face.

As a coping mechanism, from time to time, Ben blamed his friends for letting him go to the boat party, he even blamed the poor helmsman who had a stroke at the wheel which caused the crash. But his friends and family knew that he was just looking for someone to pass the blame onto. Ben would happily spend most days curled up under the duvet in bed, counting down the days until he can have the operation. His friends and family were getting deeply worried, but just like Chris’ death, Callum was the one that managed to pull Ben out of the unfamiliar shell that he hibernated himself into. He reassured him that if the worse came to worse and he was deaf for the rest of his life then it was _okay,_ and that he would always be this amazing person and everyone would love him all the same. To be honest, Callum did not know whether he was talking on behalf of everyone else or just himself, because Callum knew that this is how he saw Ben, and he probably always would.

It was Callum, with the help of Lexi and her knowledge of Cbeebies and Mr Tumble, who learnt sign language. He looked at online videos, did some research and even enrolled himself onto an online sign language course, just so he could support Ben with adapting to this new life. He even helped their friends to learn sign language too so they could speak to Ben instead of relying on pen and paper and their phone translator all the time. What also came as a shock to especially Jay and Lola were that Ben gave in to Callum and Lexi teaching him a bit of sign language too. It was like he would do anything to make them two happy, Ben was wrapped around both of their little fingers. 

When it came to the day of the operation, Callum booked half a day off work, rescheduled all his counselling appointments, just so he could be there to support Ben. And finally, when it came to the day of the _big switch on,_ Callum promised Ben that he would be there.

_“It’s not Blackpool Illuminations, Callum!”_ Ben told him, but secretly he was chuffed that Callum was going to be there. 

And it was _Callum’s_ voice that Ben heard first. Ben and Callum turned to look at each other and beamed ecstatic smiles. Phil came along too and was smiling in the background as he looked at how happy his son was. There was nothing stopping Ben now, he could conquer the world. However, there was always this niggling feeling that would not go away that the first voice that Ben heard was not his doctor’s, it was not his dad’s, but it was Callum’s. Could that just be a coincidence or was it **_fate_**?

“Listen, you doing anything tonight?” Ben wondered, as Kathy put the bacon sandwich down in front of him, all sealed up in a white paper bag. Ben quickly looked away to thank her before turning back to Callum, expectantly.

“No, don’t think so,” Callum stated casually. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well dad’s going out for the evening, so I thought maybe inviting you, Jay and Lola for a few drinks. I was also thinking of inviting Whitney and Lee over too,” Ben suggested. “Once Lexi has gone to bed _obviously._ ”

“ _Obviously,_ ” Callum repeated with a small grin. Whenever they had gatherings where Ben and Lola lived with Phil, as they both co-parent Lexi and it works out really well for them and has benefited Lexi, they have made it a rule that the heavy drinking does not start until Lexi has gone to bed. That is only if Billy and Honey cannot have Lexi over for a sleepover with Janet and William for the night.

“It would be nice if Lee and Whitney came along, I think it would do them good to get out.” A solemn thoughtful expression appeared on Callum’s face.

“Yeah it would,” Ben agreed, with a timid voice and a slow nod of his head in recognition, both of them thinking the same thing about their two friends.

Lee and Whitney found out they were pregnant about four months ago; everything was going so well, the baby was doing well, everything went great at the first scan and there was nothing bad to report. Their excited and chuffed faces that went along with their thrill voices when they told them was something that haunted Ben and Callum. _They were so happy._ Until a month ago, Callum, Ben, Jay and Lola received a text from Lee saying that he had to take Whitney into hospital as she was experiencing bleeding and horrific stomach cramps, followed by a text later on announcing the devastating news that their baby was _gone_. Lee and Whitney were in bits, like their whole world had been torn apart. Lee and Whitney would hardly talk to each other about the miscarriage until the four friends got them together and with their encouragement, they finally talked about it. By the day, the two of them were starting to build themselves up again and they were getting stronger.

“So, I’ll send a message on the group chat to let everyone know,” Ben decided, suddenly perking up and flashing a confident and admirable grin. “Half 7 alright with you.”

“It’s a date,” Callum said quickly, without thinking. He instantly started to blush with embarrassment, scratching the back of his head awkwardly and tripping up on his words, “Sorry I didn’t mean _literally_ a date.”

Ben let out a soft laugh, finding it cute how easily his best friend can get himself flustered. “You can call it _whatever_ you want sunshine,” Ben said playfully, trying to break the ice. Callum just looked at him and a shy smile pulled at his lips, starting to feel slightly at ease – because Ben was good at doing that.

“Anyway, I best be off,” Ben announced as he rose to his feet, the chair legs scratching painfully against the tiled floor. He picked up his bacon sandwich in the takeaway bag. “Need to jump in the shower and get over to the car lot otherwise Jay will have my head on a platter.”

Callum nodded his head in acknowledgement, picking his mug of coffee up once again and started to take another sip. Just at that moment, the sound of the lock on the toilet door twisted and Stuart walked out.

Ben looked over, catching Stuart in his eyeline and smirked, “If it isn’t _the big grizzly bear_.” He said mockingly, sending a wink Stuart’s way to torment him.

Callum almost choked on his sip of coffee and started to splutter inside the mug, both reminiscing about the time they had a few drinks over at the Vic and Stuart was getting cosy with Rainie in one of the booths. They both gaped at each other and started to laugh when they heard Rainie call Stuart her _‘big grizzly bear’._ Stuart noticed the two of them cackling at the bar and tried to explain to them on the quiet that it was Rainie’s sex drive and since she fell pregnant, she has become more randy. But Ben and Callum weren’t buying any of it.

Stuart just stood on the spot and daggers came flying in Ben’s direction. Ben just grinned cheekily before turning back to Callum knowingly. “I’ll see you later.”

Callum lifted his hand up in a wave of acknowledgement as Ben turned on his heel and strutted out of the door. Both Stuart and Callum looked towards the exit, where Ben’s figure had disappeared through.

“ _Such a prick_ ,” Stuart grumbled in annoyance as he came and sat back down at Callum’s table.

“Yeah,” Callum responded, letting the word drag out of his mouth slowly. He wasn’t really paying much attention as he gazed at the exit where Ben was mere seconds ago; he could feel his heart start to thump again – _BenBenBen._

And just like that it was nightfall and another day was drawing its end as it started to get later into the evening. The comforting and smoke like smell of the cold night air hit instantly as soon as you stepped outside and it was starting to get a bit more chilly – the time of day where your central heating may come back on and you would snuggle up under warm blankets and maybe put the fire on. It was the type of weather that was made for hot chocolates and marshmallows as the season started to convert into winter.

As planned – Ben, Callum, Jay, Lola, Lee and Whitney were all huddled together in their own social circle in the Mitchell family’s living room. Empty beer cans and half-filled glasses were scattered aimlessly across the coffee table. A couple of cans got left on its side and the smell of beer oozed out and filled the living room with its strong alcoholic fragrance; the stain had also left the coffee table sticky.

The _loved-up_ couples Jay and Lola, and Lee and Whitney dominated the sofa as Lola and Whitney sat in the middle, leaning against their other halves; whereas Callum took pride of place in the armchair and Ben politely grabbed a chair from the dining room table and sat in between the sofa and the armchair.

“Bloody hell Callum, that vodka has nearly gone!” Lee exclaimed, a laugh echoing at the back of his throat. “How much have you had of that mate?”

“I haven’t even had _that much_!” Callum said defensively, and a little too loudly due to the amount of booze that he had consumed had started to get to his head. “I swear I have only had _three_ vodka and cokes.” He continued, holding up three fingers enthusiastically with a brazen grin.

“It’s good that Billy and Honey could have Lexi for the night,” Jay commented, nodding in Callum’s direction, his voice sounding a bit slurred.

“Oh, leave him alone,” Lola swatted Jay’s chest with the back of his hand. “ _We’re enjoying ourselves!_ ”

“Yeah _Jay_ – leave Callum alone!” Ben backed up Lola, sounding even more drunk than Jay. He lifted himself off his seat, his whiskey glass firmly in his hand, and he jumped on the arm of the armchair that Callum was sitting on and swung an arm over Callum’s shoulders. “He’s doing no harm; he gets it from me.”

“No Ben,” Jay shook his head repeatedly and rapidly, like he was some human about to transform into some sort of alien. “Let’s get one thing straight,” he continued and pointed a finger firmly in Ben’s direction. He squinted his eyes as he looked at Ben, “No one,” he breathed out, trying to find his voice while preventing himself from hiccupping, “No one –" 

“You already said that” Callum added cheekily. Ben looked at Callum and laughed loudly.

Jay glared over at Callum before quickly turning back to Ben, “No one could be like _you._ ”

“Yeah because there is only one _Ben Mitchell_ ,” Callum responded, grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat, the moonlight illuminating his face and his dimples were clearly visible. “No one could ever be like him. He’s irreplaceable.” He continued, the courage of the alcohol making his words start tumbling out confidently.

Ben prodded at one of Callum’s dimples, “ _Oh you_!” He gushed mockingly.

Callum could instantly feel himself start to go red in the face like a beetroot, hoping that no one would notice. Maybe it was the alcohol consumption that was causing Callum to suddenly feel hot. That and the fact that _he is in love with his best friend._

“Let’s play a game!” Ben suggested loudly and with a sudden burst of excitement evident in his voice.

“That’s a bit dangerous,” Whitney teased.

“Oh, come on, lighten up,” Ben tried to reason. He picked up the near empty bottle of vodka and shakily poured the very little vodka remaining into an empty glass, the alcohol spilling over the edges a little bit and landing onto the rug. He held up the now empty bottle of vodka triumphantly and started shaking it between his fingers gently. “Spin the bottle,” he said softly, his eyes widening enthusiastically.

“Oh no, I don’t know,” Lola said wearily, huddling closer into Jay.

“Oh come on Lo!” Ben pleaded, “It’s only a bit of fun. We’re all adults. It’s not like we’re going to nick each other’s boyfriends or anything as we trust each other.”

“Alright fine,” Lola huffed, resulting in a triumphant smile to creep up on Ben’s lips. He looked towards Whitney and Lee, “Are you in?” He asked.

Whitney and Lee nodded reluctantly. Ben turned around to face Callum and his energised smile melted into warm, “Cal?” He raised his eyebrow in question.

Ben was the only person who referred to Callum as _Cal_. It made Callum’s heart stop for a moment, sending butterflies to his stomach like it always did. With a soft and drunken smile, he nodded – a little too earnest given the state of the game. He felt like time had stopped as all Callum could see was Ben’s soft and radiant smile, that was aimed at him. It was like someone had taken a picture of Ben’s _exact_ expression and framed it in Callum’s memory. 

“Right, come on then, get on the floor and in a circle,” Ben instructed everyone, and to Callum it felt like someone had pressed the play button in his head and fast forwarded as Ben was now facing everyone again and Lee, Whitney, Lola and Jay were starting to get up and move onto the floor. Callum got up and scurried onto the carpet, sitting on his legs as he sat in-between Whitney and Jay.

“You can go first Ben since it was your idea and you’re the host,” Lee told him smugly.

“Alright fine,” Ben shrugged casually. He placed the vodka bottle down on the floor, “So, who’s going to be the lucky lady or man?” He asked flirtatiously, before spinning the bottle forcefully.

Time seemed to slow down for Callum as everyone watched the bottle spin, the neck passing each individual. Suddenly, Callum felt like he was starting to fall asleep and was dreaming as the bottle started to slow down, gradually pointing in Callum’s direction. _And it did._ Callum felt the back of his neck start to get hot, tingles were shooting up his body and he could feel his heart start racing again, like it was about to explode out of his chest and be radiated with the desire that he has craved for so long.

Callum looked up at Ben and a smirk was etched on his lips. Lola and Whitney looked at each other, their mouths agape and looked at Callum, with a secret knowing grin, because _they know_ how he feels and what this was going to mean to him. Callum opened his mouth and let out a breath. _This was actually about to happen._ He was about to kiss Ben; he didn’t care that it was only a game, but he would finally get to feel the softness of his lips and how wet they would be as their mouths moved together as one. He would get to see how Ben’s luscious lips fitted against Callum’s, like the missing puzzle piece. The thought alone gave him goosebumps.

“Pucker up, tiger,” Ben said playfully as he crawled towards Callum. Callum shuffled a little towards Ben, meeting him in the middle and leaning over towards Ben, praying that he did not appear too overkeen. Ben smirked as his hands came up and rested against Callum’s cheeks. Callum gulped and looked up at Ben, his eyes burning into his. He could feel Ben’s breath and the smell of up market beer and whiskey as his face was _so close_ to his. In hope that he could maintain his balance still, Callum reached up and ran one of his hands through Ben’s hair, internally sighing heavenly at the feel of his short hair against his long fingers. They were just inches away; their lips were almost touching. Callum felt like all his Christmases were about to come at once when he was about to go into what could only be described as **_pure bliss_**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! 
> 
> I did make it cannon that the boat party happened and Ben has cochlear implants in my story. I am sorry if you felt I was a little insensitive on how the boat crashed - I still wanted the boat to crash to damage Ben's hearing but without the Mitchells being involved in the boat crashing. 
> 
> Please kudos/comment. Feel free to say hi on Tumblr - ballumschmallum 
> 
> xx

**Author's Note:**

> Come and say hi on tumblr - @ballumschmallum x


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